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No one is laughing or crying or playing and the dog isn’t barking.
I don’t need to look at the clock to see what time someone has to eat or sleep.
I’m alone, and it’s quiet and I don’t know what to do with myself, or should I at least say, where should I start?!
It’s an unexpected day alone.
I think I’ve only been completely alone since I had children maybe a couple of other times and that was for only a couple of hours to get some work done at home.
I have a million ideas of what I’d like to do. But what do I do first?
I recently read another woman’s blog about how she gives herself a honeymoon, and thought, that’s genius!
I think it’s really hard, for some, including myself, to admit, they need a break, that they can’t do it all, despite trying, and they need to take care of themselves.
So, after being stressed out for the past couple of weeks, not because of one big thing, but because of lots of little things, I needed a break. I haven’t been sleeping well at all, and it’s not the kids keeping me up, it’s my thoughts. That, plus, just not having a second to think because I was trying to tackle too much at a time and worrying about something that hasn’t even happened yet, made me into a ball of stress. So my back pain stretched all the way up to my neck and I didn’t feel like I had a second to myself.
My husband says to me, “let me take the kids and PLEASE do something for yourself.” At this point, I not only felt like crap, I looked like it, complete with dark circles under my eyes.
I fought him once saying, “I should probably come with you”, but he insisted, “you seem like you need a break” and you know what, I really did. “Ok” I said.
Family and some friends asked afterwords if I spent my time cleaning, and I’m proud to say, I mostly resisted. I did the dishes, made a hair appointment and left the house. I knew if I stayed, I’d be tempted to tackle all sorts of projects. Since I don’t leave the house often without two children and a diaper bag in tow, carefully planned around meals/nap time, I left, with nothing but my purse and a list.
I got my hair done and went shopping. We needed a bunch of things and I know it doesn’t sound glamorous, but just being able to navigate the aisles alone was amazing.
I got home and although I spent more time than I wanted to at the store, by this time, I had more energy, my stomach ache was gone and I had a smile on my face. When I talked to my husband, he said, “you just sound happy.”
I proceeded to drink a glass of wine while folding laundry and listening to loud music!
And when my family got home, I felt like a new person.
I got some “me time.”
I hugged them all and just felt better, because I can’t imagine life without them, but it was nice to give myself a break and just relax for a few hours.
Thanks hubbie!